haunted

adj: haunted -
showing emotional affliction
or disquiet

yes, after our visit last week to the brothels, i was truly haunted for a few days.  that was the word that came to mind for how i was feeling. i looked it up in the dictionary, and thought to myself,
yes,
that is exactly how i feel.
haunted. 

i am learning that this 'emotional affliction' comes with this type of work. i should be 'disquieted' after i go into the the brothels. what is happening in there is not okay. and i am glad that i am impacted by all that i see and hear--it's not easy to feel this way, but i think it's how i should react to the atrocity.

i should be haunted
when i meet a girl who told me that she's 18 years old. and after i study her eyes and face, and i realize that she must be younger, and i ask her, "are you younger than 18?" and she smiles as if caught in a lie and nods YES, i should be afflicted--for her.

i should be haunted
when one of the girls is only 20 and that as she was telling us how much she hates her job, she was in a ball of shame on the floor. this should impact me.

i should be haunted
when two of these girls tell me that they can't believe how there are women in prostitution that actually say they LIKE what they do. because if they had any other option than this, they would do it.  they are trapped.  my heart should break for them.

i should be haunted
when these young girls tell me that they don't know what the city of hamburg looks like, as they only leave the brothel once a day, for about a 1/2 hour, to eat. then they return because they don't want to miss a customer and lose out on money they could have made.  i should be disturbed by this.

and in the midst of my sleeplessness at night as i think of these women, i pray. i reach out to the God of Hope, who is also haunted on behalf of these dear ones.

Jesus, free them. 

In Christ alone
is their only HOPE